One Hated Book, Two Sister Two Very Short Fanfics
by theweirdworder
Summary: My friend,tried reading Twilight and now hates it fiercely,wrote a fanfic about it.Her sister,whose 9, wanted to too.They've never written fanfics before or anything so be nice.I didn't write this whatsoever, just edited grammar.Hope you like it- I did!
1. Sara and Hanna Fanfics

Sara's version:

You know the idiot character from _Twilight _named Bella, right? Well, this is a story about her getting drunk.

One night, Bella wanted to party. She went to a bar. She danced and drank too much beer (she's only 18). She got drunk. She killed everyone in the world. When she was sober, she realized what she had done and she killed herself because she thought she had killed Edward (notice she didn't care about killing anyone else). Edward was just sleeping. When he woke up and found Bella dead, he killed himself. The other vampires did too. The End.

Edward the Poopnickel(oh yeah)

Hanna's( 9 years old) version:

Bella turned Edward into a hairy poopnickel. Then she gave it to her Alice and said: it was chocolate. Alice ate it. Then she spat it out and put it in her vent and that's all she could smell. Then she decided to watch TV and Edward appeared on the screen. And she was so scared that she had a heart attack. The End.

Note: theweirdworder did not write any of this. Her friends did.


	2. Tori my AntiTwilight Fic

Tori's Version of an Anti-Twilight Story

Author's note: Sara and Hanna inspired me to write an anti-Twilight story of my own. Personally I thought the book was okay, but I personified its flaws into a fanfic. Enjoy.

Edward approached the house, seeming normal in the distance.

''Hello, Edward I...'' Bella began.

As Edward crept closer to her, though, he didn't seem normal. Something about the way he walked seemed strange, almost zombie-like.

''I'm sorry, Bella,'' he said, his voice an empty monotone, ''I can't do this anymore.''

''Do what, our relationship?'' Bella said. Tears formed in her eyes at the thought of another hell without Edward. Wait, no, Hell was worse than a life without Edward. She started to sob. ''Edward, I can't live without you,'' she sobbed, ''don't put me through that again, please...''

''Well, I guess our relationship would come to an end...'' he said.

''NO! Edward, please, no!'' she sobbed, her shrieks louder, louder to an ear-piercing degree.

Edward simply rubbed them. ''Stay still,'' he said.

''Will staying still mean you'll stay with me? I'll die without you. I love you and I always will.'' Bella's shrieks now were to an ear-shattering degree.

''No, staying still is something that would make this easier. And you'll die soon enough.''

Before Bella could comprehend what he just said, Edward grabbed her. Bella would of moaned in pain, he had just broken her wrist, he bit her.

The intense pain ran down her body, immobilizing her. Even if she could scream, scream loud and hard enough to make her throat bleed internally and give out her voice box so she could never talk again, it wouldn't be enough to for the pain.

Meanwhile, Edward was feeling intense ecstasy. Her blood was better than able to be described, the best he ever tasted. It was so great that at that moment only one of his senses seemed to be active-his taste buds.

He didn't hear the frantic, fast running into his room.

''Edward, no!'' a voice, in his stupor he couldn't identify it(Alice he would later learn).

Somebody else was feasting off of Bella- he could sense it. He looked over. Jasper.

He took Jasper and ripped him into pieces, rubbed the ground so fast a fire appeared, then threw Jasper into it.

''No!''

Everybody must of shrieked it but Alice's voice rang the loudest. It was her shriek that ripped him out of his stupor.

''What happened?'' he asked. He looked at the fire, counted the vampires and saw Jasper missing among them.

He removed himself from Bella.

''Bella, no!'' he screamed hysterically.

She had stopped bleeding. Her skin was grey, dead grey. She was dead.

Epilogue: Edward went to the Volturi asking for death. Nobody stopped him. Alice even encouraged it.

The End


	3. Hanna Wrote A Sequel!

**Hanna wrote another story! WOO-HOO! And for the anonymous Twilight lover Sara wants you to know she knows she can't get in trouble for having an opinion. From me- this is just for fun. Nothing serious. For the rest of you- your support of this story is appreciated. So here's Hanna's other story( that Sara helped her type): **

Edward the poopnickel number 2

One day Edward the poopnickel came out of bellas friends vent. Then he took over the world and turned everyone into poopnickels. The end.


End file.
